My AMAZING year

It's all about me: my version of the Christmas round robin letter

This is me with a sandwich in Sandwich on the UK’s hottest day ever in July.

Hello, and happy Christmas! I hope you’re well today, are not too hungover and feel ready for whatever the festive season means to you.

This week a friend showed me the Christmas ‘photoletter’ she received from a neighbour, which uses photos to sum up her year.

Each month featured photos of family members my friend had never met or captions that mentioned people who weren’t pictured, with bonus images of scaffolding and snow on a mountain in the summer.

These letters tend to be complete with tales of people you don’t know and likely will never meet

I’m sure we’ve all received (or maybe our parents have) a ‘boast in the post,’ the annual ‘round robin’ letter that someone you never see any more and removed from your Christmas card list years ago continues to send, to keep you up to date on everything that’s happened to them, from the wonderful winter sun holiday they had in January to their cataract operation in July and how they lost their new hamster behind the sofa and had to call the fire brigade in September.

These letters tend to be complete with tales of people you don’t know and likely will never meet, and packed full of facts you never knew you needed to read, as well as things they care about - but you most certainly won’t.

Such round robins have even been collected into a book by Simon Hoggart, should you need something to read during a quiet moment this festive season.

In the spirit of the round robin, I thought you’d like to know ALL about the AMAZING year I’ve had, in all its chest-beating, gutter-leaking, new floor-installing glory.

(You could say my newsletter is simply a giant, fortnightly boast in the post, but I really hope not!)

Here goes:

January started with a hangover and three hours in the playground with my nephews, then three more lying on the floor at my friend’s house by the radiator in a hoodie while we dissected the night before. God knows what I did for the rest of the month.

Valentine’s Day happened in February and with it a pizza and some wine with a friend, followed by rushing home to inspect the damage from a neighbour’s burst pipe into my flat. I’ll spare you the pictures, but I spent several dark and tipsy hours dragging all the rugs I own into the bath – luckily they soaked up most of the water.

I got a new, post-flood wood floor that involved a man with gout arriving on Sundays at 7am to install it

It took most of March to decide what shade of green to redecorate my hallway and spare bedroom after the leak and after trying 34 testers I went for a paint called Overtly Olive, because I am Very Middle Class.

In April, omicron finally got me and then I realised I had a leaking gutter (or my flat did, anyway).

May brought the first ever Before Midnight, Annie Mac’s new club night that finishes early so I can get some sleep. Pure, unadulterated Middle-Aged Fun.

In the spirit of Middle-Aged fun (or was it a midlife crisis?), I went to Ibiza for the first time in June. I spent half the week unwell wearing earplugs as a singer wailed tunes at the hotel next door, and the second half trying to decide whether to go clubbing or not and then falling asleep at 10pm.

The Queen died and I went to another Annie Mac night (not to celebrate)

July bought the hottest days ever and I went cycling around Deal and Sandwich in Kent with my friend Charlotte, where I made her take a photo of me with a sandwich by the sign that said Historic Sandwich. I also got a new, post-flood wood floor that involved a man with gout arriving on Sundays at 7am to install it.

In August I went for a week without makeup – and my face felt completely different. (If you want to see a photo, click here.)

September was my birthday month and I turned 45 and went to the pub at lunchtime so I could have two drinks before 3pm to avoid a hangover. The Queen died and I went to another Annie Mac night (not to celebrate).

In October, I don’t remember what I did but I just looked at my phone and there are a lot of close up photos of my mouth, teeth bared. I’ve got Invisalign braces, so I must have been monitoring their progress.

In November, I went to a conference on a beach in the Middle East themed ‘human metamorphosis.’ I tried my best to change.

December brought Christmas parties and at one of them I ate the best thing I’ve had all year: a caramelised eggy bread dessert served with malted barley ice cream. (It was at Avenue restaurant in London.)

In all seriousness, thank you for reading The Honesty Box this year. If you like it, please share it. Have a happy and safe festive season and here’s to a fun and healthy 2023. See you on 1 January!

Things I like

What Michelle wore

Michelle Obama’s book tour wardrobe for The Light We Carry is pretty awesome: neons, shell suit-style jackets, combats, flares, killer heels and braided hair. The New York Times’ fashion editor Vanessa Friedman wrote about it (paywall) and there’s more here from CNN.

Partying for people who don’t like parties

The Guardian has published a guide to surviving Christmas dos when you’re shy, awkward or boring. I love a party if there are at least a handful of people I know well, but if not, they can be rather an effort. Journalist Lucy Mangan advises introverts to: “Just ask someone a question about themselves, fix a look of interest on your face and they will happily talk until you both die. But you can make your excuses before that.”

There’s also some useful advice on how to extract yourself from conversations with dull people when you’ve exhausted all small talk, plus how to avoid going to parties altogether.