MY NIGHT WITH DAVID BECKHAM!

It was better than my night with Ryan Gosling

Becks said: “You look lovely.” I was speechless!

On Thursday, I spent the night with David Beckham. Coiffed haired, soft leather-jacketed, shiny white teethed (toothed?), football legend David Beckham. I had to wait my turn while he was with another blonde who he spent about half an hour with, but when we were together, I found him courteous and complimentary - and he even agreed to a photo afterwards.

OK, OK, I didn’t spend the night with Becks like that, silly! No! Sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. No – in fact, he was being paid a lot of money to advertise some very fancy sound equipment - speakers and such - and the speaker company kindly invited me to a party at a private club to celebrate.

Becks said: “You look lovely,” (to which I was speechless) as we posed for a photo

(I’m a journalist, and I might write something serious about it, as well as spilling the beans for you here.) Becks spent half an hour talking to broadcaster Lauren Laverne about music - he works out with Posh most mornings: she might put Whitney Houston on, he might change it to Fleetwood Mac; his youngest son Cruz sang the Spice Girls’ Mama track at Victoria’s recent 50^th birthday party - and then posed for photos with a line of adoring fans.

When it was my turn, all I could think of to say was: “Hello, I’m Lucy, thank you for doing this,” as we shook hands.

While he will have been handsomely compensated for his time, I did feel for him a little, having to shake the hands of multiple sweaty strangers breathing booze fumes, and essentially being paid to be a kind of performing monkey, which is why I said thank you.

I know nothing about football, or beekeeping (Becks is very proud of his honey - see the Beckham Netflix documentary), or raising four children, or being married to a former pop star, so ‘thank you’ seemed appropriate. Thank you for your left foot. Thank you for your right foot. Thank you for your genes, your full eyebrows, your smile…

And Becks said: “You look lovely,” (to which I was speechless) as we posed for a photo. In which I think I look like a red blob!

It’s time for you to get out your tiny violin for me, dear reader, because I went to this party alone.

The first question friends asked me about meeting Dave was: “Was that at Madame Tussauds?” and the second: “What did he smell like?” The answers are no, and nothing, I’m afraid - but I fear I may have had fish breath having hoovered up several sushi canapes while I waited my turn to shake hands.

It’s time for you to get out your tiny violin for me, dear reader, because I went to this party alone.

And that is the real point of this story. Yes, I attended this fancy bash, in a swanky bar, with free champagne, cocktails, canapes and a major celeb (who I got to touch), all by myself.

I am not complaining, but the reality is that it can be fairly tricky to go into a room full of strangers and spend two hours attempting to be sociable.

Clusters of people arrived together, and it was so dark in there I could barely make eye contact let alone see the drinks menu. But I ended up having a great time, because I approached my night with David Beckham differently to my night with Ryan Gosling.

My night with Ryan Gosling (at a party last year to celebrate the birthday of a watch he advertises) involved spilling the contents of my lumpy tote bag on the floor as I arrived in front of numerous celebrities in see-through sequins - and then freaking out about how young and tall everyone was. That was a night in which I got stuck in my head and couldn’t just ‘be,’ silly as that may sound.

But Becks brought out the best in me. I went to the party with an exploratory mindset, I didn’t think about the ‘what ifs’ and I just went for the ride.

This might sound obvious if you’re a natural extrovert and/or great at small talk, but for me, going into a roomful of strangers can be quite overwhelming. Without overthinking, at this party I gravitated to others who seemed to be on their own – first of all to a man who turned out to be a Mercury prize nominated musician, Moses Boyd – and we bonded over our love of under-the-radar clubs and parties.

Then, as I lined up to meet Becks, I asked the person next to me: “What does one say when one meets David Beckham?” and he turned out to be a PR exec who could be a useful contact.

Finally, I got chatting to a woman around my age as we waited for musician Jordan Rakei to perform - he took to the stage after David - who told me she’d recently taken lessons in DJing. I’m taking this as a sign, because I’ve been contemplating courses I’d like to take, and DJing is one of them.

What’s the moral of this story? Well, I believe that if you open yourself to the world, the world will open itself to you, and in making these small bids for conversation, I had three chats with interesting people.

I wasn’t doing so to ‘get’ anything in return, I was simply looking for human connection. And, as my friend Jess says: “Nobody waves, but everybody waves back.”