The 'childless cat ladies' are coming

Birth rates are falling, so those who criticise people without kids are going to have to get used to us

My favourite childless cat lady

Women without children have to deal with a lot of shit. Whether you find yourself childfree by choice, childless not by choice or something in between (aka me – read more about that here), at some point in your life you will be asked whether you want/wanted to have kids, why you don’t have kids and whether you are worried about becoming a childless cat lady and dying alone.

Sometimes your answers to these questions will be ‘yes,’ ‘because I didn’t find the right partner,’ and ‘many people will die alone – including those with kids.’ But inside, you might want to reply: ‘fuck off, it’s none of your business’ to all three questions.

I imagine that Kamala Harris would have liked to use the latter phrase lately, when she was slammed by right-leaning conservatives for not having biological children.

In the week that saw her become the presidential candidate for the Democrats, comments made by JD Vance, Trump’s running mate, about Harris and “childless cat ladies miserable at their own lives and the choices that they’ve made,” resurfaced from 2021.

Meanwhile, “The concerns of parents and families will always be abstract to her,” were among comments made about Harris by a lawyer and prominent conservative on X last week.

Well of course people without children are completely miserable, and of course we have no understanding of others whatsoever. We are selfish, shallow and self-absorbed (a concept turned on its head by writer Meghan Daum in her book of the same name), and the only beings we have love for are our multiple cats.

We contribute nothing to society and are sad because we know that only people who have procreated count.

I say this in jest. Because, far from being miserable, single women without kids are often happier than men in a similar position, for example.

But those who attack women for not becoming mothers will likely have to get used to us “childless cat ladies,” because birth rates are declining in the developed world.

New figures show that the birth rate in England and Wales is at its lowest since 2002, while in the US, more people (especially women) simply say they don’t want children – and the fertility rate in America is at a historic low.

Harris is very well placed to understand the “concerns of parents and families.” She met her husband Doug Emhoff via a blind date and they got married when they were both 49 – her first time, his second.

Emhoff has two children from his previous marriage, and Harris said she waited to meet them until she knew the relationship was serious.

The children – Cole and Ella – have an affectionate name for Harris, ‘Momala,’ and Emhoff’s ex-wife Kerstin Emhoff this week defended Harris, describing her as being a “co-parent with Doug and I,” and someone who is “loving, nurturing, fiercely protective.”

To suggest that people who don’t have kids can’t be empathetic is truly ridiculous, and to aim your criticism at someone who appears to have worked especially hard to create a blended family is completely pointless.

But I’m giving the last word to Jennifer Aniston, who wrote on Instagram this week: “I truly cannot believe this is coming from a potential VP. All I can say is … Mr Vance, I pray that your daughter is fortunate enough to bear children of her own one day.”