Your greatest hits

Have you got a ****ing good list?

Hello, and thank you for reading The Honesty Box (trigger warning: a swear word).

On a dark winter’s day in lockdown last year I started gathering content for my website. I’m a writer, so gaining new clients or being noticed by editors means I need a portfolio - and six years into freelancing I still didn’t have my own site. 

I started working on it during a day when I felt rather low. Maybe it was the 5.30pm ‘witching hour’ that had struck - the name I gave to the period between work and dinner when it was pitch black outside and nothing was going on inside - but I wasn’t feeling inspired. 

Obviously, I started looking at other people’s websites and decided they were all far better writers, networkers or pitchers than me. But I also felt frustrated with myself: why had I been hiding my light under a bushel all this time? 

During a course I took a while ago, we were asked to write a list of our ‘greatest hits,’ the things we were most proud of in all areas of our lives. So I decided to apply this to my website, putting together a document of some of the articles I’d written and projects I’d managed that I had been particularly proud of. Suddenly, I got a surge of confidence, and out of nowhere typed at the top of the page, in big bold letters: I am fucking good at this. 

I hadn’t yet uploaded any of my work to the website, but the next morning, I got two emails out of the blue: one from a speakers’ agency asking if I could moderate a panel at an online business event, and the other seeing if I was available to edit a corporate report. Somehow, my flush of faith in myself had made its way through the ether to potential clients. For various reasons, neither project ended up happening, but they could be good future contacts, and I reckon having good self esteem and belief in yourself does translate.

If I'm shining, everybody gonna shine - Lizzo

It’s not always easy to get the balance right between pure self-confidence and a sprinkling of arrogance, but having a few phrases up your sleeve to set boundaries in the right tone is always a good thing. I’m not suggesting telling clients, colleagues or your boss that you are “effing good” at something verbatim (though please tell me if you do), but having a sense of self-confidence can help you value yourself more and create opportunities.

For me, phrases that strike the right balance are: “I don’t do X type of project, but I am able to do Y,” “My minimum fee is X” (OK, I haven’t actually used that one yet, but I’m working up to it), and “Do you have a budget for that, as I’m afraid can’t take on unpaid projects” (you’d be surprised how often self-employed writers - and others, I’m sure - are asked to do things for free).

I looked up the origins of “Don’t hide your light under a bushel,” and found that it is a New Testament parable from the book of Matthew about not putting your lamp under a bowl, but onto a stand so that it can shine throughout the house. The Honesty Box is my attempt at shoving the bushel out of the way and letting the flame be seen, and I hope in doing this I can perhaps inspire other people to let their light shine. 

Writing a greatest hits list and sticking it somewhere I can see it shows me what I’m capable of, when I need reminding. Now I need to add to it, and ask my friends to send me theirs too.

What’s on your greatest hits list?

Things I like

Does Lizzo like shopping naked?

I’m playing Lizzo’s Juice on repeat. Because of these lyrics: 

“If I'm shining, everybody gonna shine

I was born like this, don't even gotta try

I'm like Chardonnay, get better over time [although I thought she was singing “I like shopping naked, get better over time”]

Heard you say I'm not the baddest bitch, you lie.”

How to help people in Afghanistan

Many people have been horrified by the events in Afghanistan this week and this article from the i lists charities that can help people there, as well as refugees in the UK and in other countries. There is also a government website where you can offer to help in your local area (if you live in England), with councils detailing what they are looking for, from cultural activities to clothing donations. The link is here.