An interesting read. Something I'm definitely working on.
Two friends and I have 'The No Club'. It's something we refer to when we say no to social engagements that we don't have capacity for or plain don't wanna go to. We even use it as a verb. 'I got invited to X but I just no clubbed it. Woo!' - and we'll cheer each other on. It's nice to have a little safe, non judgmental pocket to work on our nos!
Thanks, Janelle. I love the idea of ‘The No Club’!! I always feel I have to give a reason/excuse for a ‘no,’ but actually a polite: ‘no I won’t be able to’ is often enough. Any tips welcome!
Maybe having a 'no' buddy is my tip! Someone you can tell phew I just said no to this 💪 and they'll validate your decision when you might be getting the guilt and doubt spiral
Got me thinking, Lucy. Confess I’m not good at saying no to the elderly neighbour who expects a kiss on the cheek when I see him in the street. He has a very ‘patrician’ manner. I need to practice my no!
Ah! That’s a tricky one. But it’s not rude to say ‘no, thank you’. You have the right to assert a boundary any time. He might not ‘get’ it- but does that matter?
Learning to listen to my body and gut about my No. I've so often over the years said Yes when I wanted to say No and then felt so so so resentful. Loved this x
I love this! Resonates so much. had a chat with someone today about how i told my mam No to a request she made. She asked me to go visit an elderly friend. I didnt want to. I did feel the need to express to her that its my boundaries however she wouldnt understand that language! I went with the blunt, because I dont want to! Felt so hard but so good! 53 years of unlearning to do.
Seeing this makes me feel good about asserting myself :D
An interesting read. Something I'm definitely working on.
Two friends and I have 'The No Club'. It's something we refer to when we say no to social engagements that we don't have capacity for or plain don't wanna go to. We even use it as a verb. 'I got invited to X but I just no clubbed it. Woo!' - and we'll cheer each other on. It's nice to have a little safe, non judgmental pocket to work on our nos!
Thanks, Janelle. I love the idea of ‘The No Club’!! I always feel I have to give a reason/excuse for a ‘no,’ but actually a polite: ‘no I won’t be able to’ is often enough. Any tips welcome!
Maybe having a 'no' buddy is my tip! Someone you can tell phew I just said no to this 💪 and they'll validate your decision when you might be getting the guilt and doubt spiral
Got me thinking, Lucy. Confess I’m not good at saying no to the elderly neighbour who expects a kiss on the cheek when I see him in the street. He has a very ‘patrician’ manner. I need to practice my no!
Ah! That’s a tricky one. But it’s not rude to say ‘no, thank you’. You have the right to assert a boundary any time. He might not ‘get’ it- but does that matter?
Learning to listen to my body and gut about my No. I've so often over the years said Yes when I wanted to say No and then felt so so so resentful. Loved this x
I’m terrible at saying no. Something I desperately need to work on before I run myself to the ground. Thank you for writing about this Lucy!
Thank you Mel! I really recommend saying no! It gets easier every time. X
I love this! Resonates so much. had a chat with someone today about how i told my mam No to a request she made. She asked me to go visit an elderly friend. I didnt want to. I did feel the need to express to her that its my boundaries however she wouldnt understand that language! I went with the blunt, because I dont want to! Felt so hard but so good! 53 years of unlearning to do.
Seeing this makes me feel good about asserting myself :D
Thank you, Sadhbh, I’m glad it helped! And I hope you had a ball at Before Midnight too. That’s always something I say ‘yes’ to! X
Thank you, Zenoushka. The body really does know the answer, I think, and is always worth listening to.