I have a 'room of one's own'
Now I just need to tidy it
I wrote a piece for the UK’s i newspaper last week titled ‘18 low-effort ways to be happier and healthier after summer,’ and one of the ways was to de-clutter, especially in the bedroom.
“The sight of clutter raises our cortisol levels and makes us feel stressed and anxious,” decluttering expert Laura Price told me.
And indeed, there is a connection between a messy house and feeling down according to research, as well as a strong link between procrastination and clutter – mainly to do with the idea that sorting through old papers and possessions is going to be emotional and/or boring. (I found links to these studies in a New York Times article on the emotional weight of clutter.)
I live in a small flat in London and working from home is mostly done in my bedroom, which, while large, has too much stuff in it. I have two laptops (I need both), a large screen (also needed), and all the associated cables.
All of my winter clothes are vacuum packed under my bed, along with life paperwork and a few spare wooden floorboards.
Then there is grandma’s chair, which needs re-covering and has done for the seven years I’ve lived in my flat, as well as the various fabric samples I’ve accumulated that end up down the back of the seat cushion or on the floor (I just ordered several more).
On the chair are several prints and paintings that need framing, some of which are awkward sizes that require custom frames, along with a bubble-wrapped antique mirror that is the chair’s newest occupant, having been there about 5 weeks. If chairs are made for sitting in, then this one has had very little use. Perhaps it will last until I’m 90-something, like my dear grandma.
This is a room of one’s own, of sorts. I’m certainly its main resident and I make a living from the writing I do in it. I choose how to spend my time in my room.
Work, sleep, sex, gift-wrapping, ironing, reading, life admin, meditation attempts and downward dogs have all occurred here, along with much phone-gazing while lying down and daydreaming out of the window while sitting up - and imagining my bedroom tidier.
Last week, I told my therapist about a cardboard box hidden behind grandma’s chair, the only thing remaining unpacked since I moved here in 2017. It once housed Corona beer, something I rarely drink but which briefly amused me during the pandemic when we still talked about Covid-19 as coronavirus.
Inside the box a jumble of photos and chipped picture frames that have sentimental value. I’m not sure about its other contents, since I haven’t looked in it for a while, only sliding the odd fabric sample I ‘want to keep’ down one of its cardboard flaps so I don’t have to open it properly.
My therapist suggested getting one of those nice storage boxes for these keepsakes, but I already have two and they are full and sitting on shelves that are also crammed.
My counter-suggestion was: I need a new kitchen.
There’s some peeling paint by the kitchen sink window and I’d like to redecorate. But actually, what I’d really like is to replace the tiny mosaic tiles with some fancier ones, the plastic worktop with granite (or the fake stuff) and get Shaker-style cupboards. Then I’d put up more shelves and be able to move some of my paraphernalia on to them, including a pretty box to replace the Corona one.
It’s easier to think that the solution to having too much stuff is to build more storage for it, but, just as work expands to fill the time available (Parkinson’s Law), I think the number of possessions you have simply expand to fit the space available.
But is there more to my clutter collection than simply procrastination? Does leaving my grandma’s chair exactly as it is help to preserve her memory? Does seeing the mess somehow make me feel as if I’m busy and important?
Next month, I hope to go to the Clean & Tidy Home Show, where, alongside about 16,000 people, I shall learn from talks titled “Reset your home, Reset your life,” and “Break free, step into your power”. I shall pass along any wisdom. And maybe, just maybe, I will finally learn how to be tidy.
Other writing you might like:
Hard relate to the pretty vintage chair that never gets sat on. I have one in the living room. The only person who ever sits on it is one of the teenage gaggle of neighbours who regularly stop by to eat things from my fridge (and see my son). I’m irrationally always irked by the way he always chooses to sit on the “pretty chair” instead of the settee 😂
I recommend https://www.eframe.co.uk/ for when you tackle those pictures.