Things I like

Plus - how much do you lie?

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

Hello! Thank you for reading The Honesty Box today.

And now for something a little different…

As I mentioned last time, I’m going to publish The Honesty Box weekly (instead of fortnightly), so every other week you’ll get a short list of things I like, and then my regular thoughts, expressions, honest revelations, words of wonder, call it what you want, will continue on the in-between weeks.

I didn’t plan to do this, I just decided to say that I’m going weekly and now I must actually do it.

As I discovered when I took Gretchen Rubin’s Four Tendencies quiz, I’m an ‘obliger,’ which means I’m very good at fulfilling my obligations to everyone else - but not so much to myself. Saying in public that I’m going to write weekly will hold me accountable.

Things I like

Who will you disappoint this week?

Hopefully, you’ll disappoint at least one person.

Sounds harsh, but in the words of Glennon Doyle in her book Untamed: “Every time you’re given a choice between disappointing someone else and disappointing yourself, your duty is to disappoint that someone else.

“Your job, throughout your entire life, is to disappoint as many people as it takes to avoid disappointing yourself.”

Untamed, which I’ve been reading this week, is Doyle’s best-selling memoir about how she stopped being a people pleaser and started doing more of what made her heart sing, and this quote is from a conversation she had with her daughter Tish when Tish’s brother wanted her to join the same club as him at school - a club Tish didn’t want to be part of.

Repeatedly doing things you don’t want to do can be a dark path. And if we disappoint someone else, is that on them, or us? It made me wonder: do I put others first more often than I put myself first - and what are the consequences?

Why do you lie?

People pleasing is lying, according to life coach Natalie Lue on a recent episode of the BBC Radio 4 programme Woman’s Hour called Why We Lie.

I’d never thought of it that way, but when someone asks if we’re OK with something, whether we’d prefer to do one activity or another, or if we’re happy with our romantic relationship, some people’s tendency is to do what they think the other person wants them to think, do or say.

You choose your battles, of course, but is it time to start being more honest about what you want and need out of life?

Misdeeds in Mallorca

I’ve just re-watched The Night Manager, the BBC’s 2016 adaptation of the John Le Carre thriller. It’s like a James Bond miniseries, featuring beautiful locations (Cairo, Mallorca) and beautiful people (Tom Hiddleston, Elizabeth Debicki) doing mostly un-beautiful things. Apparently, season 2 is on its way.

A thing I’m doing

Ooooh - a new section! (Let’s see how long this lasts.) Self explanatory I think. I’m doing BJ Fogg’s Tiny Habits five-day introductory course starting tomorrow because I want to build more positive and productive routines into my life, as well as using my phone less.

The course starts every Monday, is free, and my friend Rosie recommended it. I rate Rosie, so I’m sure it’s gonna be good. I’ll let you know.

And that’s it! Thanks for reading the first Things I Like post.

What did you think? What have you done lately that you’d recommend? Post a comment and let me know!