Gorgeous writing as always Lucy; these things can polarise & even be written in extreme and black and white ways but you have a way of capturing the grey and the complexity... xx
Love this! I’m younger than you - about to turn 30 - and have never wanted children, so I’m aware that my starting point in this discussion is very different. I’ve written before about how it only occurred to me very recently that I could choose something to do ‘instead’ of getting married and having kids (I’d love to get married but have had almost no luck on the dating scene to date, pun not intended), and that’s part of the ‘30 on purpose’ which is driving me at the moment - I’ve just moved from Scotland to Bristol and I’m planning to take a year out of paid work to go back to uni. My godmother doesn’t have kids (I’ve never asked her how she feels about it) and that’s meant that I have always had an alternative role model available to me from childhood, which I am incredibly grateful for.
As a 65-year-old who has never looked back on being childfree by choice, I'd argue that the choice should be to have children, not to not have them. I know far too many people who did what was expected without really thinking it through, and though no one will ever say it out loud, have regrets. I have freedom that transcends empty nesterhood, financial security, flexibility, and great and numerous friends and relationships. And I get a great night's sleep most nights.
How about hearing from parents as well who can tell you unequivocally that having children is vastly overrated. I applaud your honesty and heartfelt considerations.
Love this! I was always on the fence about kids, whilst being too busy enjoying the benefits that freelance work and financial security allowed. Then I accidentally got pregnant about 3 weeks after my wedding and now have a 19 month old who woke me up at 5am today whilst both of us are loaded with cold. I am envious of your life whilst still feeling content with my own, and I suppose that’s healthy. I’d absolutely kill for a duvet day (goose down, naturally) today, mind you.
Great article and well balanced as always Lucy! With regard to having kids a one-size-fits-all approach is clearly not appropriate. Unfortunately, it will take some time before the general public sees it that way but the UK is certainly much better in that respect compared to many other countries.
Gorgeous writing as always Lucy; these things can polarise & even be written in extreme and black and white ways but you have a way of capturing the grey and the complexity... xx
Love this! I’m younger than you - about to turn 30 - and have never wanted children, so I’m aware that my starting point in this discussion is very different. I’ve written before about how it only occurred to me very recently that I could choose something to do ‘instead’ of getting married and having kids (I’d love to get married but have had almost no luck on the dating scene to date, pun not intended), and that’s part of the ‘30 on purpose’ which is driving me at the moment - I’ve just moved from Scotland to Bristol and I’m planning to take a year out of paid work to go back to uni. My godmother doesn’t have kids (I’ve never asked her how she feels about it) and that’s meant that I have always had an alternative role model available to me from childhood, which I am incredibly grateful for.
As a 65-year-old who has never looked back on being childfree by choice, I'd argue that the choice should be to have children, not to not have them. I know far too many people who did what was expected without really thinking it through, and though no one will ever say it out loud, have regrets. I have freedom that transcends empty nesterhood, financial security, flexibility, and great and numerous friends and relationships. And I get a great night's sleep most nights.
How about hearing from parents as well who can tell you unequivocally that having children is vastly overrated. I applaud your honesty and heartfelt considerations.
Love this! I was always on the fence about kids, whilst being too busy enjoying the benefits that freelance work and financial security allowed. Then I accidentally got pregnant about 3 weeks after my wedding and now have a 19 month old who woke me up at 5am today whilst both of us are loaded with cold. I am envious of your life whilst still feeling content with my own, and I suppose that’s healthy. I’d absolutely kill for a duvet day (goose down, naturally) today, mind you.
Loved this, thank you
Great article and well balanced as always Lucy! With regard to having kids a one-size-fits-all approach is clearly not appropriate. Unfortunately, it will take some time before the general public sees it that way but the UK is certainly much better in that respect compared to many other countries.