When was the last time you did something for the first time?

I just went on live TV to talk about being 'childfree'

I went on live TV yesterday to talk about not having kids - and why it’s still seen as a taboo. It was the first time I’ve talked about this topic on the telly. Eeek.

I got the call asking me to do the show late on Friday and the interview was at 11.20am on Saturday, and aside from some preparation, I spent several of the hours in between out dancing at a disco night.

I went to bed at 4am and was therefore quite hungover on the show. Ah, the life of a ‘childfree’ middle-aged woman.

(Watch the clip here - it’s at 11.25 am - about 1 hour 16 mins in.)

On Friday, trying something new was the topic of Writers’ Hour, an online writing group I’m a member of. At each session, writers are greeted with ‘words of wisdom’ by the hosts, and on Friday these came from Sophie Diener, whose poem “The First Step” was read out.

“Please begin,” the poem urges. “It’s okay - you won’t be perfect overnight - and people might see you try,” it goes on, “Getting where you want will take some time,” Sophie reminds us.

It’s a really beautiful piece about what it means to try something new, how it feels, and how it’s OK not to be great at it to start with. (Read it in full here.)

I was nervous about going on telly to talk about such a sensitive topic, and I tried to take the words from the poem to heart as I prepared.

But of course, as soon as I’d said ‘yes’ to the interview I panicked, deciding I might cry, fretting that I didn’t want the world to know that I don’t have kids when I wanted to, questioning why I talk about this subject and fearing that I might look foolish in a very public forum. All of the things “The First Step” poem talks about.

Then I thought back to the reasons I started this newsletter, which was to express myself and give a voice to people who might read it and go ‘it’s not just me’. And the point of the TV segment was to discuss ‘why choosing to remain childfree’ is still stigmatised.

Viewers had rung in to talk about their experiences, ranging from someone who unexpectedly got pregnant and now loves being a mother, to someone without kids who felt it was unfair when she had to pick up tasks while her colleagues were away during school holidays.

Just before my six minutes of fame, TV host Peter Cardwell explained that he’s a single, 40-year-old man who has decided not to have kids, and said he doesn’t question his friends who don’t have children (or those who do) about their choice.

It was refreshing to hear a man talk about this - so often the focus is on women, as I told him during our interview.

The chat went fine, but of course I came away thinking that I could have given better examples when he asked about probing questions people have put to me, or decided I should done my hair differently, or had more than 5 hours’ sleep, or managed to prop open my right eye somehow. But, as Sophie’s poem says, “It’s okay you won’t be perfect overnight.”

“Please begin. Because… the world craves your light,” is one reason Sophie gives for trying something new and I agree. The world craves the sharing of experiences and the understanding of others, it craves tryer-outers and people who fail in public and then try again. It doesn’t have to be on telly or the internet, it could be one tiny new thing you do today. So try. If I can do it, you can too.